The great thing about having your own pool table is that you get to make your own rules. Now I’m not talking about stupid rules like making other players use their opposite hand or garbage like that.

247Everywhere you go that has a pool table has a slightly varied set of rules and there’s always going to be disagreements but the overriding constant is that local rules trump all. If the table is at a pub and especially if you’re playing a couple of locals for drinks, it’s a good idea to ask about local rules BEFORE you step up to take a shot.

I played and learned a certain set of rules at my local pubs and most of those they are alive and well here at The Mahi Mahi Room. I’ve modified a few of them to make more sense and fall into line with official guidelines.

For instance, we used to play that any foul on the black was a loss of game. Now we have the rule that it’s only a loss of game if you go in-off when on the black. All other fouls on the black are treated as a standard foul.

yarpOne of my favourite new additions is one that has absolutely nothing to do with sinking the balls on the table. When it’s your turn, you’re at the table and someone (anyone) asks you a question, you cannot use the words “yes” or “no”. Instead, if you have to use either to answer said question you must substitute “yes” with “yarp” and “no” with “narp”.But the catch…is that “narp” has to be said as a question. “Narp?” Bonus points if you know where those two terms come from.

If you happen to utter “yes” or “no” you will incur the standard penalty of a shot of goon. I’ve always got a cheap cask of goon cold and ready to go.

Unfortunately I think I hold the distinction of being the worst offender of this one. Not by choice but by virtue of the fact that I tend to talk and talk and talk a little too often without engaging my brain, especially after a certain amount of alcohol. That and everyone loves enforcing the rules when the boss breaks them so I cop it big time.

narpI’m sure there’s some doozeys out there so what are the worst local rules you’ve had to endure? Comment below.